


Is This It?

by Fandingdano (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Mixed feelings, POV First Person, Post-Game AU, Post-Sburb, Rose pov, fancy rose, gay shit, gays, multi ships, one shot maybe?, regular feelings, rose preference, some not gay stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-10 12:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2024445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Fandingdano
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Game shared-species planet AU, in which Rose and Dave finally take to familiar traditions. Then some more change occurs and visions get askew, feelings get hurt, and purposes are lost. You have a feeling it's going to be a long eternity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Choices

Only two weeks since the marks end of that infernal game, Sburb, my ecto-brother and I decided it'd be a swell idea to settle down in the new session. Our counterparts and fellow heroes went for similar alternatives, while we went the most subtle route; buying a manor and deciding to live there as a family until death had its way with us. After that, the house would be subjected to a hefty routine of being passed down over and over again, making it the equivalent of a heirloom; something I would be happy to be the root of. This whole idea was of my design, of course, but Mr. Strider was even more euphoric about it than I when the suggestion was made, surprisingly enough. 

A few months passed by and, well, we made the house our own. Dave set up a studio for his media arts and many other various hobbies, while I took it upon myself to do all of the decorating and furnishing. Our home had such a modern and welcoming feel once it was broken in and innovated with our individual touches. It was so welcoming in fact that it was bothersome to find a time appropriate to leave! Sometimes we had our days when we'd venture out with our mutual friends and mingle, most others however just consisted of staying home and having our personal time. And by personal time, I should mention that I mean my brother and I weren't spending as much time together as two people who share a home were expected to. I wrote reports and read and knit, Dave threw down sick beats and animated and practiced in the art of taxidermy.  We exchanged words from time to time, but it really was not too often. 

 

Now, it was 9 or so months since the game ended. Life was going smoothly in our humble home. It was a Saturday, a day Dave and I chose would was our official reclining day. We meet in the common area, sharing our thoughts and escapades from the week prior. After a good chat I'd prepare some relaxing tea for the both of us, while Dave played for me his latest hit or asked for feedback on his recent webshow update, or requested I play a song for him on my violin. 

This particular Saturday, i sat on our white Cynthia Left-facing Sectional sofa. I sat down, leaning on the arm of the couch, my legs propped up in front of me to support the book I was reading while i waited for Dave to arrive. He was out running some mandatory errands in respect to his presence on the web; he was becoming quite a popular figure. I had prepared our beverage already, and listened to a taping of his latest song while I wait. That's when he walked in, a dark suit plastered to his skin, it was hot outside today, I presumed. I eyed him over my book, not lifting my head or even removing my headphones to properly greet him; it was my favorite portion of the song at that moment. He removed his suit jacket and hung it on the rack by the door before slouching not too far from myself on the furniture piece. He rolled up his sleeves, selecting a cup of tea of the table to take a sip at. I kept it cool in our house, that way the fireplace could be roaring even during the summer months. It was silly, but no one questioned me. 

He glanced over to me, and I smiled sweetly, my black lips pursed together. That's when I got a bit concerned. It was a little late out already and what I didn't before note was that he was distraught. I frown, removing my headphones.  

"What seems to be bothering you this time?" I asked a bit more coy than I ought to be. 

"Well, if you must know, it's been eating at me for a while. "

"What has? The stress of all your viewer's commentary and nitpicking on your work? The current homeless rate? The fact that we have this huge house and you have yet to find a partner worthy of boarding with while I am already debating bringing Kanaya for an experimental marriage simulation?"

"What? Hell no. Maybe it's a way more bogus reason to be upset, but that's just how it is. Anyways, okay so I'm in this guy's office, you now the head of that motion pictures company, and he's offering up some pretty big deals and telling me about all the potential my films had if they were made professionally. But than, he goes "and if you just- hear me out- if we just..."" then he went on about how this man wanted up change up everything that made my brother's films his own.

"-and as soon as he says that shit I just up and bounce. I-I just really can't take this shit anymore, Rose. How come anytime I meet someone about my work, and try to make a deal they have to get all power crazy and try to change everything into some cliche comedy romance bullshit? That's what I ask myself every time I get back from those dumb movie meet ups. " I nod. 

"Go on. How's this really eating at you, what's the root, I mean to ask."

"I dunno, just I mean maybe I'm just too young for this. All the glory and fame. Maybe it's just not my time yet. I keep telling myself that, But then I think "what are John and the others up to now?" You know what they're up to, Rose? John had a comedy club built in his honor. He's been on all the talk shows, traveled the country. Jade practically broke modern science! Lifted that shit high off the ground. She's busy now innovating the whole world with her ideas without breaking a sweat.  Did you know karkat is running for senator? Did you also know he's winning?" I just looked at him with kind eyes, taking in the truth in his words. 

"And don't get me wrong I love living here with you, and the idea of having our family grow and thrive with good values and shit, but in the process of that,  I don't want to get left behind. I don't want to have to throw away all our friendships because we can't keep up with everyone. And then when they have time to meet up and talk, we just go "uh yeah, Ya know I sit around that big ass house and stuff. Sometimes I leave. I'm not famous like you so you forgot I existed and got better friends and an actual life."" That's when I thought it'd be appropriate to cut in.

"Dave, what I'm getting from this is that you believe by not being as successful as our mutual friends that it'll leave us, and more importantly yourself, in the dust per se and most likely as just a lonely pair of siblings for the rest of our days. More so, you mean to say we are in danger of losing the people who to you represent the best this life has to offer And that frightens you. To me, this is pointing further toward your self denial complex that I've been trying to get rid of for years. You do know our friends love you, right?" I've told him that many times. I didn't see how saying it again would do any damage. 

"Yeah yeah I know. But... call me clingy, I just don't want them to move on. I want to be important to them; more important than anyone else." He laughed, and spoke again, "and I know I don't deserve to be the center of attention, Hell I don't wanna be. But, when we meet up with John and the others I want to be all that's in his-their head. I want them to look at me and wonder how It's  going for me and how I'm doing. I want them to forget about everything that's been bothering them and just be buds, like old times." Dave sighed. He was speaking passionately, without trace of insincerity, which he didn't do often. 

I reached my arm out and touched his shoulder. He just shook his head in his tea. 

"Hey, look at me," I stated respectfully, and he did. 

"You don't have to stress so hard about this. World recognition won't change the way the others are, have you lost your mind? You'll always be important to them, I bet you're always on their minds. I know for a fact John is thinking well of you this very moment." I smirked, baring my teeth. He cocked a brow at me, a smirk emerging on his face as well.

"Did he-" I nodded before he had the satisfaction of finishing the inquiring. He chuckled, a flash of red swarming over his face. 

"He told me not to say anything, so I didn't. But I thought I'd tell you now. I didn't want to see you get anymore upset over nothing." That's when his whole face lit up. He tried to avoid my glare but I could tell he already saw, and I could tell he could tell I could tell. I removed my hand from his shoulder and moved to sit next to him, crossing my leg over the other in my white jeans. 

I took his cup and had a sip. "And there's more," he looked up to me, his poor posture clashing terribly next to mine,"he called last night. He wants the great underground movie producer Dave Strider himself to help him co-produce a tv show from the ground up;  his own design, something completely original. He suggested you come with him. To Los. Angeles. To live with him, and, I'd say more, but I'd prefer you hear the voicemail for yourself."

I stare down at my cup with a smug smile. I already knew this was a no brainer; Dave would want and leave me to stay close to the one he loved. He'd feel bad about it. I wouldn't argue, but I'd miss his dearly. We'd been living so comfortably together in the house, and had our entire future planned out. He seemed so happy when I'd secretly watch him work. I couldn't believe I didn't see the hole that drilled itself into him. What I could see, however, was that if he went with John his hole would be filled. My power gave me sight of that. I knew that if he stayed here nothing would be the same again. He'd get depressed, as would John. But John would move on, my brother wouldn't. He get angry, he'd cry when he thought I wasn't around, he'd drink, he'd fall apart. I'd kick him out of this house before I let that happen. 

He pondered into his lap for a while, only in moments like these did I wish i was a Mind seer instead of a Light one. I couldn't make much of that deadpan he always kept up, but his smile was gone, so I knew he was in deep thought about his choice. 

"Dave, I think you should call him now. And maybe you should tell him how you feel. The right way this time, please.Think it over. Then, I want your decision by tomorrow." I rose from the sofa as soon as my sentence was over, my magenta pumps clicking on the floor as I walked out of the room and through the archway that lead to my personal literature area. I heard him release a well thought out "Can do, sis." as I left. And I felt my heart sink. His decision was already made. 


	2. Gotta Jet

The next morning I was up early. Today I made us coffee. Dave hated it, but he'd never pass up the opportunity to have a cup. I dressed myself in a velvety rose colored gown and sat in our common area. It seemed quieter today than it usually did when I was up at the crack of dawn. Normally I'd find it comforting, relaxing even. But now, it just felt empty and meaningless. In no way did it calm my nerves. I didn't feel so much up to music either, so I stayed in the stressful vacancy of sound. Nevertheless I sipped at my drink thoughtfully, thinking over what I'd be up to once my brother was gone. Couldn't say I'd given it much thought before John called. I thought it'd always this way; just me and him, and that we'd like it that way. I can't believe I didn't foresee his pain. I still feel sorry for only recently figuring it out. And I should have seen it! Dave spent a lot of his time before the game cooped up in his little Texan bat-cave he called a bedroom, scrawling the internet and befriending strangers. He's told me on more than one occasion that outside the virtual web he'd come comforted with, he'd had not a single friend. And even online, most of his friends were just ironically-made dudebros; hardly worth opening up to. Then he found me and our mutual friends and he found a bliss in finally not have to be as lonesome and closed off. I should've known that trying to box him in with just myself while the others traveled and adventured would be a atrocious idea. In fact; I'm sure I knew this. Yet, being selfish, I still humored the idea of being a family together. Perhaps this was my idiotic and childish way of reliving the times I had when my mother wasn't deceased. I should have gone with my seer instinct at the time and never suggested it in the first place. But I didn't.

 In the middle of my thoughts he entered through the archway. He was still clothed in his interview suit from the day before, and that deadpan on his face just spelled business. Upon catching his eye, I sighed, setting my mug on the coffee table. He stood a good ways away from me, staring me in the face. I gave him a timid, mannerly smile.

"What'll it be, bro?" I first thought to ask how he slept, but that'd be a moronic question, so I cut to the chase. He stood there in the archway, without his familiar glasses donned. I awaited the imminent response.

"I don't get why you even ask these question, like you don't already have a blueprint lay out of my whole thought process."

I shook my head at him. He knew very well that despite my foresight that I took peoples' choices very seriously, and tried my best not to intervene since the game ended.

"That doesnt matter. Just because I'm aware of what you want most doesn't mean I can pinpoint the choice you think is most favorable for everyone." He slapped a solid hand against his face, grunting in a way that completely broke the silence in the room. 

"Spare me the horseshit, will you. Doing that isn't helping me feel any better about this." He paused. "I wasn't so sure when you told me, I was leaning closer to just staying, just like that. But... then I called him, and we got to talking. And it's just sure a great opportunity, Rose! I really miss him." He leaned his arm on the arch of the way, shaking his head into it.  _  
_

I sighed again, just watching him with a pained look on my face; one that I stressed not to let show.

 "Your silence speaks volumes, Rose. I really  _hate_ to leave you, I really do. But, if I don't do this now I'm always gonna wonder what if." I laughed at that. This is how things went. We'd talk something through, even though we both already were completely aware of each other's thoughts. Some would call it a waste of time, and most times it was. But that was our thing, it worked for us. It was  _fun_ even. Just this particular conversation...ever word of it sickened me. I knew what was happening, he knew too, but we always go  in this habit of saying things, I suppose for closure purposes. God, why did it have to sting so much?

"I'm going to be okay." I forced a smile at him. "I'll come visit sometime maybe. And since I'll be having the house to myself the whole Kanaya thing won't be such of a drag on your part." He chuckled.

"Yeah you say that now. But what about later? Aren't you going to miss me?"

I quirked my lip at him. "Of course. But that's not up for discussion now. What matters now is that you get packed and catch the next flight to L.A."

"Tomorrow, then? Everything's happening so fast. It's like the game all over again, heh," he joked. In a way I got it. I suppose it was similar to the sporadic way our lives changed that fatal day we entered the game. But even then, I wasn't alone. This time, for me, it'd be different. I would be by myself. But I chose this. I chose this life and I would stick with it. There's nothing more I'd really prefer doing, in all actuality. Traveling the world? Heh, we all know I've seen enough of the world to last an eternity. And...I suppose it  _will_ last just that long. If I didn't become a hero again, at least. That's not what I plan to do though. Loneliness notwithstanding, I liked this life. I hope I learn to love it as much as I loved him.

"Tomorrow." I simpered. "You're on your way, brother."

* * *

 

The next day, again, I awoke early. Earlier than the day before; and I only scarcely slept through the night. So I stayed in my bed thinking maybe I'd be able to doze off again and avoid the imminent confrontation with my thoughts,  I didn't succeed in that though, as expected, and spent the morning cogitating over the details of the move. All I can recall now is that the atmosphere was grim and dull. Grim, dull, disheartening, demoralizing, ect. The feeling lingered long into the day, burrowed itself in my mind during the cab ride to the airport. 

We had to order one of those massive, bulky van-type cabs to accommodate  all of my brother's luggage; which if it wasn't clear was quite a bit. We had to lug all his mixing gear, a shitty ninja collection (which I might add is difficult to get through bag security), an assortment of cool-guy appropriate clothing, taxidermy works, knittings I'd made him over time, and basically just a great abundance of assorted things that contributed to the Strider style with us.   Once we were through security he stopped me me in my tracks; apparently this is as far as I go. I looked at him questioningly and a bit annoyed.

"What? I can't see you off?"

"I...yeah that's it exactly. You really wanna see me just walk away like that?"

"I don't see what exactly you're trying to get at, elaborate for me."

"Look... I'm gonna walk through that gate over there. And if I don't know you're gone before I do, I know you'll be watching me. And you'll be watching me leave our life here forever. I'm not coming back. "

"So?"

"So, I'm leaving you forever. I know you aren't up for the whole world travel thing and you know I'll be busy with my own shit over in L.A. Doesn't it bother you just a little bit to witness me leaving first hand, knowing we might never be the same again?"

"Well, of course. But, I'd like to spend as much time with you as possible before you have to be a ghost."

"I just don't want you to see me leave okay? Just get outta here. You aren't the slightest bit excited about this and you know I'm hella psyched to be with John again. Everything I always dreamed of will be there for me. And you? You'll get left behind; the exact thing I was dreading would happen to me I'm just fucking nonchalantly evoking on you. Don't look your abuser in the face, Rose. I'd rather you just move on and find something else to do with your time then mourn the loss of a brother. Go have a kid or some shit. I dunno. " I expressed a soft, but disappointed face to him. He'd know what I meant. 

"You trying to protect me is useless. I'm a grown women, not to mention a god, and I know what I'm doing. I'll be fine. Don't downplay the importance of your happiness just to maintain a caring-sibling demeanor. It'd very clear to me, and all of our friends that you care. You've never been all that good at hiding it. Besides new beginnings are a lot more exciting when you take away the guilt factor." I bared my teeth encouragingly at him and kissed his freckled check.

"I'll be at home if you ever need another. Make me proud and stop playing yourself for a fool."  He finally smiled and hugged me.

"Yeah, alright. Call you as soon as I land. I love you." We both smiled to each other and I turned to exit before he did.  I sighed and walked, my head held high. How'd he feel if I was just slumping away dramatically? That' just be uncalled for. So I just left peacefully. Soon the announcement sounded that it was the last call for the flight Dave was boarder. My last sliver of familiar company was found. I should've chose the thug life instead of this.


End file.
